I am selfish.
And sometimes ungrateful.
Sometimes I yell at my children,
and I have been known to be impatient. (!)
There are times that I am negative and discouraging,
and at times I operate out of more fear than faith.
Perfectionism, criticism, doubt, busyness:
these have all been known to be my companions.
No, I'm not proud of that list at all. In fact, I'm ashamed.
I'm embarrassed.
But as I began a few weeks ago to think about the new year,
to clean out closets, and under beds,
cabinets and drawers,
I begin to sense that the Spirit was calling me out for a cleaning, too.
For some hidden things to be wiped off, and dusted,
and brought out into the open for some contact with the Light.
And during this process, He has been so gentle, and so kind,
and I have hung my head in shame before Him to see the things that He sees-
sin.
No other word to describe it, no covering up with better sounding words like "mistake",
or "character-flaw"-
just sin.
But oh, the grace that flows down when I face the Truth,
the Beauty of the Mercy that covers my shame,
and the joy of the cleansing.
There is so much peace that comes when I face my sin and say,
"This is ugly. This is wrong. This is hurting my relationship with You."
As I pull it all out and put it before Him,
showing Him all the "hidden" things that are never hidden from Him,
"He is faithful and just to forgive me from my sin and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. "
1 John 1:9
The Word becomes Life in my life,
and I trade my filthy rags for His robe of righteousness.
In my house, the smell of Pine Sol, comforting to me,
sends the message that I have been at work to get things ready for the New Year.
Fresh, clean.
And in my soul, His blood has done the same.
Thank You, Father.
I start this year with so much appreciation for Your grace, Your mercy,
Your bringing out into the open the things that are dirty and making them clean.
Joy, peace, kindness.
Patience, perseverance, faith.
Rest, waiting.
Now, this list,
this list of things You bring as I live in Your Spirit,
this is a list I can be proud of.
Ahh, the pleasure of being clean.
Happy New Year, Lord!
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Wonderful, insightful post! I couldn't say it any better....and I feel so much like you about my short comings. I pray too that the Lord will clean me out, purge all the sin that so easily entangles me. Thanks for helping me start the new year out right. Do you mind if I reference this post on my own blog? So well written and I really wish for my readers (5 whole ones!) to read yours. God bless you, my friend!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Karen! Encouraging to know I am not the only one out there who need some cleaning! Of course you are welcome to reference this, and I am trying to do better about keeping up with this blog. I journal every day but getting it onto the computer just doesn't happen like I want it too...something else to add to my long list! Blessings to you and prayers that we both keep everything out in the Light..
ReplyDeleteShay