Suspicious of Grace

Suspicious- "to suspect; a feeling or state of mind; to distrust; to believe to be bad or wrong"
This is how I spent so much of my life viewing grace: can I trust it? My feelings said that grace was too good to be true and did not fit in with my mindset that as long as I did what was right, followed all of the rules and made sure that everyone thought of me as a good little girl, then grace would come my way. But I found that what seemed right is not always right, the rules change, and what one person thinks makes me a good girl doesn't fit for everyone. In short, I could not make grace a part of my life, no matter how many checklists I completed! But Grace found me, and now I am living out the learning of what Grace looks like on a daily basis with 4 children, homeschooling, being a wife, a daughter, a friend, a worship pastor, cleaning toilets, doing laundry, cooking meals, wiping counters, potty training toddlers... on and on! So I am hoping to share with you this journey from "suspicion" to "trust", where sometimes I take several leaps forward, and sometimes I go several steps back, but always am held by His right hand. Blessings!